"Zero it out!" is something I began to say to myself earlier this year. I had noticed that while I remembered from time to time to ask God what to do next, it tended to be phrased along the lines of "Is it OK if I....." Most often I got a clear yes. In fact, if I had to guess, I'd estimate that I got a yes about 90 percent of the time I asked. (Keep in mind too that most of my approximately 960 minutes of waking time each day, I didn't ask at all.)
Maybe God knows better
A few things began to dawn on me. One, of course, was that I was sounding a lot like a kid. Is it OK to do what I want? More important, I wondered if maybe what I wanted to do was OK -- not terrible, certainly something God could redeem -- but not the best thing. It might not be the thing to do at that moment that put me into the middle of the great Process with a capital P.
This is part of an ongoing argument with God about who knows better, really. God is gradually winning ground, but I'm not giving up easy.
So I have played with adapting "zero base budgeting" and "zero base time management" to "zeroing it out moment to moment." As you can imagine, I'm very, very far from doing this consistently. Yet...it's the single thing I'm to do -- more important than anything else in my personal Rule of Life. So I keep praying to remember to ask.
It's why I'm writing at this moment
I had some other more practical things in mind to do. But every once in a while, I actually do what God suggests. See, I tend to think in terms of payoff. Reward. And maybe no one will read this, or -- since you've read this far -- it will mean nothing to you. So if I do "zero it out" it means shifting everything about who I am.
To zero it out I have to stop, at least for a minute. And often turn in a different direction, losing momentum. Yesterday God sent me to Wal-Mart to get foam board to back some signs for a death penalty vigil last night. I complained a little. "This isn't very efficient." (Yes, I did laugh at myself at the same time.)
I like to go fast. Or -- I like the fantasy of going fast. Onward and upward! Meanwhile, of course, my actual progress is snail like at best. But now -- past time to zero it out again.